I have been meaning to write for so long...however some fear has been witholding me from doing so...i have not been happy...i keep constantly telling myself that its all in my head...but no...not at all...its the husband who pushes me from the edge all the time. what ever i do...how much ever i do...he is never satisfied...he always has to blame me...i will always fall short in his expectations...and he has to generalize...how can i trust this person...how can i even expect to have a kid with this person...i dont want to live...i dont have the desire to live...i dont have hope in this relation ship...i dont see it becoming any easier on either of us...he has to analyze my every move...every expression...i feel suffocated in this relationship...why dont i have the strength to be myself ...be strong...and deal with this.
